How to Navigate Different Personalities at Work
- Dr. Victoria Mattingly
- Mar 31
- 3 min read
When we talk about diversity in the workplace, we often focus on race, gender, age, and ability—and for good reason. But there’s another kind of difference that deeply impacts how we collaborate, communicate, and conflict: personality.
We’ve all had moments where we’ve silently asked ourselves:
"Why does she always need to talk everything out?"
"Why can’t he just go with the flow?"
"Why does this feel like pulling teeth every time?"
It’s easy to get frustrated or label someone “difficult” when they don’t behave the way we do. But personality differences aren’t roadblocks—they’re relationship opportunities. If we know how to navigate them, they can make our teams smarter, stronger, and more inclusive.
I spoke with Pierre Anthony about this on a Better Humans at Work (BH@W) episode. Below is a summary of our conversation.
🧩 What is Personality? Introducing the Big Five
The Big Five (also known as the Five-Factor Model) is one of the most widely used and scientifically validated frameworks for understanding personality. It breaks down into five traits:
Openness to Experience – Imagination, curiosity, and a love for variety.
High openness = big-picture thinkers.
Low openness = practical and detail-oriented.
Conscientiousness – Organization, dependability, and self-discipline.
High = planners and perfectionists.
Low = flexible and spontaneous.
Extraversion – Sociability, assertiveness, and energy.
High = life-of-the-party types.
Low = thoughtful introverts who prefer deep 1:1s.
Agreeableness – Compassion, cooperation, and warmth.
High = peacemakers.
Low = challengers who value honesty over harmony.
Neuroticism – Emotional sensitivity and reactivity.
High = deeply feeling, self-aware.
Low = calm and even-keeled.
No one trait is better than another—just different. But in a workplace context, these differences can quickly become sources of misunderstanding or misalignment. So how do we bridge the personality gap while still honoring everyone’s full, authentic selves?
3 Ways to Navigate Personality Differences
Personality differences don’t need to be sources of friction—they can be doorways to better understanding and collaboration. Here are three strategies to help you work more effectively across different styles while honoring both your own needs and others’.
1) Give Space: Step Back, Be Patient, and Truly Listen
Not everyone processes information or communicates in the same way—or at the same pace. An extravert might need to talk through ideas out loud, while an introvert may need time to reflect before responding. A conscientious teammate might want a clear plan, while a low-conscientiousness colleague might thrive with loose guidelines.
Creating space means slowing down enough to listen—not just to respond, but to understand. It means resisting the urge to dominate the room and instead making space for other voices to emerge. Ask questions like, “Would you rather circle back after some time to think this through?” or “How can I support your process here?”
This isn't just emotional intelligence—it's inclusive leadership.
2) Let In a Little “Shadow”
We tend to overvalue the traits we have and undervalue the ones we don’t. If you're organized, maybe you see spontaneity as chaos. If you're super agreeable, maybe directness feels rude. But often, the traits that frustrate us the most in others are the ones we’ve rejected or repressed in ourselves. This is what psychologist Carl Jung called the “shadow.”
Letting in a little shadow means recognizing that someone else’s way of being isn’t wrong—it’s just different. It can actually expand your own flexibility and emotional range. For example, instead of dismissing a low-agreeableness colleague as “abrasive,” try asking, “What perspective are they bringing that I might be missing?” Letting in the shadow doesn’t mean compromising your values—it means opening yourself to new ways of thinking, feeling, and leading.
3) Set Boundaries (With Respect)
Inclusivity doesn’t mean you have to accommodate everything or everyone at all times. Boundaries are essential for sustainable collaboration. If someone’s work style is interfering with your ability to be productive or feel psychologically safe, say so—respectfully.
Use clear, kind language like:“I know you prefer real-time brainstorming, but I do my best thinking with time to reflect. Can we try a hybrid approach?”Or:“I’m open to candid feedback, but I’d prefer we keep it constructive and respectful.”
When you set boundaries, you’re not creating distance—you’re creating the clarity that allows relationships to thrive.
🎯 Bottom Line: DEI Starts with Understanding Difference
Personality isn’t visible like race or gender, but it is identity. It affects how we show up, how we’re perceived, and how we engage with the world around us. Using frameworks like the Big Five helps us move beyond snap judgments and toward meaningful understanding.
So the next time someone’s personality rubs you the wrong way, pause and ask:What might they need that’s different from what I need?And how can we meet somewhere in the middle?
That’s inclusion in action. That’s how we become better humans at work.
Want to bring this topic to your team or leaders?
Let’s talk.📩 victoria@mattinglysolutions.com
Comments